People Matter. YOU Matter. Money Matters.
Not too long ago I spoke to someone whom I shall call Steve who quit his job working for a company that treated him poorly. The business service was web design and SEO, and fewer than five people were working on the team. However, the owner of the business was relentless in making his company succeed.
Although the business entrepreneur paid everyone a salary that was above what would be considered a competitive rate, the team members were expected to be working long 12-hour days, 7 days a week. There was always a job to be done and a deadline to meet. Even though the owner was careful not to ask anyone to work extra hours, since there was always a deadline, team members felt there was no alternative but to work pretty much around the clock.
A realization
Steve stayed with the job long past the point where he thought he was treated as nothing more than a machine or body. There was little, if any, respect or appreciation for the work, but Steve told himself that the money was outstanding, so he could just suck it up.
Eventually, it came at a cost as he picked up bugs and illnesses because his immune system was compromised due to exhaustion. He lost weight. His personal life took a hit as his girlfriend walked out on him because he just was not available to anything or anyone else but work. His apartment was a mess, and he had even given his dog to his brother for care. It wasn’t a good situation.
In time, Steve took accounting in his life and realized that his relationship with money was considerably warped. For several years, he was willing to give up his life for lots of money. But, finally, the point came that he wondered if he was even living. His health was a mess, as was his home. A woman he loved was with someone else because he didn’t pay attention. Even his dog was not around to keep him company loyally since he found it was “better for the dog” to have him board with his brother.
Steve quit.
Fear of money
Upon reflection, Steve realized that it was his fear of losing money that compelled him to keep working in what he considered to be an unfortunate and disrespectful situation. Ultimately, Steve started his own business, but first, he had to rethink his relationship with money and deal with the fear of not having it. What he eventually realized is that by becoming an entrepreneur, he would be placing the investment money he put into the business at risk. That caused him stress, but he would have to figure out a way to deal with it and push past the fear.
Indeed, during the first year, there were very lean months, and Steve had to come to peace with that reality. Ultimately, Steve was able to overcome his fear of money and the loss of it, which he credits to helping him build a successful business. Why? The answer is that because he had conditioned himself with time, discipline and a change of perspective not to be afraid of the “loss” of money or lean months, he was able to keep his eye on the ball, which was perfecting his business strategy and ultimately building a successful business.
In other words, had he been focused on the money and always making sure he had more than enough, he would continually be chasing the money, which is not what a successful business owner is supposed to do. Instead, by having a positive relationship with money and not being afraid of it or seeing it as lacking, he was able to focus where he was supposed to be looking, business creation and development.
I asked Steve a few of his tips for how he got into a comfortable place with money. Here’s what he had to say.
- Don’t look at money as a set pie. Train yourself to think that so long as you work and are creative, you can increase the size of the pie, meaning more money. Steve makes more money now as a business owner than what he made as a well-paid employee working for someone else’s business.
- Understand loss aversion. There is a theory in economics that people feel the pain of losing money more acutely than the pleasure of making it. Steve learned this and decided to do something about it. He stopped reviewing his investments and bank increases and losses on a daily basis. Instead, he focused on future wealth building(e.g., his business, long-term investments, etc.).
- Spending priorities. Finally, Steve realized that how he spent his money was crucially important. He realized that he spent a lot of money dining out because it was easy to do, but he didn’t spend any money for what he loved to do, which was travel. He cut down on the expensive dinners and started paying into his passions and priorities, beginning with long weekends and travel.
There are so many people out there who don’t realize that they have a relationship with money, for better or worse. Hopefully, if Steve’s story sounds all too familiar to you, you’ll understand that it doesn’t have to be a bad relationship with money. I think Steve’s suggestions of where to begin the process of creating a healthy relationship with money are the right place to start.
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